I had one of those moments today during a very quiet day of work when some thought or idea that bugs me gets lodged in my mind. The shop I work at is a couple of doors down from a bar, so maybe that's what started it. For some reason, I found myself wondering then growing frustrated with this idea that there are "manly" drinks and "girly" drinks, "manly" music and "girly" music, etc. You know the thought process. Don't get me wrong, I like beer, especially dark beer, but I also like most of the flavors of Smirnoff Ice. I do like some pretty crunchy rock n roll, edge music for us in T-town, but I also love Coldplay, and enjoy Josh Groban, and Sixpence. I think what irritates me is being part of a generation that desperately needs to rediscover what a man is, we've replaced genuine, passionate, manhood with stupid little macho rules involving the way you talk, what you drink, what you listen to, and the list goes on and on. So we drink beer, puff our chests out, cuss, fart and burp and figure we're men. Then, I went home tonight and discovered my righteous rant needed to be aimed inwardly.
Okay, side note here. I'm pretty much a barbarian. I cuss to often, I think the only bad burp is the one where you keep your mouth closed and let it fill up with air, (unless of course you intend to blow it in the face of an unsuspecting buddy), and I think farts are funny in pretty much every situation, even funerals (long story). I admire a good booger. I won't even talk about the toilet (I know you're grateful). I'm a man's man, right?
How is it that on a regular basis I fail to do the little things that I'm responsible for? In these failures I put undue pressure on my wife, let down my friends, and stay stuck in some stupid cycles that a little consistent action would free me from. You know what's really sad? The ladies who read this blog (if they're still with me after the farts and boogers...which, by the way, some of you think it's funny too, you're not foolin me...) will simply say something like "Yep, he's a man alright, they're all alike." Standing up when you pee doesn't equate to manhood, it generally just makes you biologically male.
I have my moments, when I'm strong, compassionate, safe but a little dangerous, gentle and still a little wild, a fierce warrior and romantic poet. Most of us have our moments, and our poor wives live on them for weeks and months. My wife deserves more, my son needs my example, and I want to be what I'm called to be.