I had one of those moments today during a very quiet day of work when some thought or idea that bugs me gets lodged in my mind. The shop I work at is a couple of doors down from a bar, so maybe that's what started it. For some reason, I found myself wondering then growing frustrated with this idea that there are "manly" drinks and "girly" drinks, "manly" music and "girly" music, etc. You know the thought process. Don't get me wrong, I like beer, especially dark beer, but I also like most of the flavors of Smirnoff Ice. I do like some pretty crunchy rock n roll, edge music for us in T-town, but I also love Coldplay, and enjoy Josh Groban, and Sixpence. I think what irritates me is being part of a generation that desperately needs to rediscover what a man is, we've replaced genuine, passionate, manhood with stupid little macho rules involving the way you talk, what you drink, what you listen to, and the list goes on and on. So we drink beer, puff our chests out, cuss, fart and burp and figure we're men. Then, I went home tonight and discovered my righteous rant needed to be aimed inwardly.
Okay, side note here. I'm pretty much a barbarian. I cuss to often, I think the only bad burp is the one where you keep your mouth closed and let it fill up with air, (unless of course you intend to blow it in the face of an unsuspecting buddy), and I think farts are funny in pretty much every situation, even funerals (long story). I admire a good booger. I won't even talk about the toilet (I know you're grateful). I'm a man's man, right?
How is it that on a regular basis I fail to do the little things that I'm responsible for? In these failures I put undue pressure on my wife, let down my friends, and stay stuck in some stupid cycles that a little consistent action would free me from. You know what's really sad? The ladies who read this blog (if they're still with me after the farts and boogers...which, by the way, some of you think it's funny too, you're not foolin me...) will simply say something like "Yep, he's a man alright, they're all alike." Standing up when you pee doesn't equate to manhood, it generally just makes you biologically male.
I have my moments, when I'm strong, compassionate, safe but a little dangerous, gentle and still a little wild, a fierce warrior and romantic poet. Most of us have our moments, and our poor wives live on them for weeks and months. My wife deserves more, my son needs my example, and I want to be what I'm called to be.
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4 comments:
amen, brother. anyway you could get that on tape for hypnosis purposes? farts and boogers are a part of my daily life, and i am not even referring to my toddler son. catch a fart and let it go in my face, wipe a booger on my leg. remind me again why i love this man? oh yeah - its fun. disgusting, but fun. he generally follows up a really sweet, romantic moment by turning around and farting. that's my boy. "live on these moments for weeks and months," so true! at least most men are fairly predictable. man: what? how did you know? women: what do you mean 'how did i know,' i know everything!
hooray for men, you all give us women something to work on ;)
and by the way, i think its great you are striving to be more of an example for your son. but somebody's gotta tell the jokes, right!?
Working on us men is a lifetime of effort with very little reward. And just in case it wasn't clear, I'm not ashamed nor have any intention of being less than the barbarian that I am, I consider that an important part of the example I want to set for my son! My deal is, you guys shouldn't have to live for months on a moment when we act like real men, true we'll never be perfect, but making a mistake and copping out are two different things. Thanks for your encouraging remarks.
Okay, I've tried a couple of times to respond to this post and can't come up with anything.
I'm speechless.
I will say this. You keep me laughing.
Laughing, I must admit that I had started this a couple of times and then left waiting for another time to read. However, I see your "Real" manhood in the things you say on your blog and with others. The work God is doing is shining through. I'm sure your wife has more times of being proud of you than you realize. I think it is great though that you are seeking to change that which you recognize needs work. I like to think of my journey as a Process, it helps to not be so final and failureish.
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