Sunday, February 11, 2007

Worth a thousand words...

So coming up soon I'll be posting a new picture of myself. I actually started my new lifestyle on January 2nd, so I've decided to post the first side by side comparison photo approximately six weeks from then. That adds up to about the 16th of February, but that falls on a Friday, and I actually weigh on Tuesdays. In order to give updates on weight lost, I'll be posting the picture on Tuesday, February 20th. I'm pretty nervous, but maybe not for the reasons you would suspect.

Having already crossed the line once, I'm not so nervous about putting a picture out there. What I'm mostly concerned about is if I will actually look any different. I'm actually doing quite well, I won't reveal my current weight loss yet, but I'm getting into an area where I've bailed before. When you have a significant amount of weight to lose, and I believe I need to lose anywhere from 130 to 140 pounds, even significant early losses still leave you very much overweight. In the past, I've lost more than 40 pounds, and then looking in the mirror and seeing virtually no change, I've gotten very discouraged and quit.

Certainly things are different this time, I believe that. However, I know that I'm coming up on one of the mountains I've failed to climb, and it makes me a bit nervous. I guess I'm facing a reality that I've tried to escape in the past. This is a lifestyle change, not a temporary program. I think I used to get so discouraged because I was looking forward to getting my weight off so I could get back to eating whatever I wanted. I think we all want to be able to win our battle, whatever it is, then be done with it and go back to our previous habits. No wonder we are so defeated and discouraged at times, because that is a false hope. To change means exactly that, to change. It's not a diversion, a sabbatical, it's a complete directional shift.

I think that applies to anything in life, and I think in our desire to live without thought and responsibility we sabotage ourselves. We must accept the truth that true freedom from a struggle does not come because you take a temporary route to get it under control, but freedom comes when you take responsibility for the defeat and do something different. Freedom from food abuse does not come when I can eat whatever I want, freedom is when I can eat what's best and turn down what's not.

4 comments:

LiteratureLover said...

I know that unclimbed mountain well. I am praying that you'll scale it without looking back. I cannot wait to hear your progress! You continually encourage me to stay the course. Thank you for sharing so openly.

Daddyman said...

LINDY you are so awesome. I am so happy to hear that you are continuing to well in your struggle against your addiction! I lost in Nov. but plan to start my battle over again on the first of March. Keep up the fight!

thebarefootpoet said...

Welcome back daddyman, and come March I'm there with you, whatever I can offer.

heartsjoy said...

WOW! THat was challenging to me! I really needed to hear it. I totally agree, I Do think that way, thinking once i get there I can go back. Good points...thanks for the challenge.